Why I'm Sad Today

Seventeen years ago my Father died at the age of 76 followed by my Mother five years and ten days later.

Neither of them knew about the person I am today and to be honest I'm not sure how they would have handled the news.

Dad was famous for just saying "whatever" while shaking his head.  It was his way of telling the world that he didn't understand it and was not going to argue over it.

I think Mom would have tried to understand and at least would have tried to accept it somehow.  

I was 44 when Dad passed and 49 when Mom left and I was doing rather well at my "man" imitation game.

I was married for the third time with two step daughters and all of that is gone today.

I transitioned in 2018 and told my family in 2019 but not my ex-wives.  Eventually the first and third found out and after a bit they have come to accept it.  I still hear from one more than anyone else in my family.

Some of my relatives only communicate on Facebook and I got a Christmas card back (with the wrong name).  

For the most part I have just disappeared out of their lives.  One only calls while driving past on the interstate.

What's so funny about the whole mess is I use to have a fantasy.  I would move to a distant city and just disappear.  

Seems like I have done just that.  

But I still remember all the times with family and friends, many of which I wish were still in my lives, but that was their choice.

Maybe they just couldn't wrap their minds around the thought that the boy and man they once knew is now living as a woman.

I hope they know that I am very happy now and would not trade my life for anything.  

I have someone very special in my life who fills my days with love and joy.  

One day I will make her my wife.  I think this one will stick.  

No ex for this lady.