What's the big deal over deadnaming?

So what is deadnaming?

I'll give you an example.

So Bob is a FTM (female to male) transgender person who's birth name was Barbara.  Bob has gone through the hassle and expense of legally changing his name and has notified everyone, including god which name is his name going forward.  This includes his employer.

At first all is well but then Bob get's a couple of emails from coworkers and supervisors using his old email address and dead name.  

Bob politely corrects them but still it happens.

Why is this such a big deal you say?

When you deadname someone, you're telling them that you don't see them as their true self.  Instead, you see them as you choose to.  Deadnaming someone, even when done accidentally, brings all of their negative life expereinces with that name to the surface. 

Because deadnaming happens to trans people, it is a slap in the face that glaringly notes the cis privilege of the person doing it. Deadnaming is one person telling another that they have the option to view them however they choose, rather than respecting the person's identity. This is an incredibly disrespectful act, whether done intentionally or not.

What should Bob do?

The first step is to inform and educate the person.  Make sure to include someone from the Human Resources Department.  I highly recommend this be done in writing (and keep a copy).

If it keeps up then a final notice to HR that if the behavior continues you will be contacting the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC.GOV).

File a charge of sex discrimination with the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC).
The main reason to file a charge of discrimination is to make ongoing discrimination stop. When the discrimination is not ongoing, filing a charge may help stop the same thing from happening to others, and sometimes can result in monetary remedies. Charges can also lead employers to change policies, discipline staff, or institute training.

A charge of discrimination must be filed with the EEOC or your state civil rights agency before going to court. Most charges are resolved without going to court. Generally a charge must be filed within 180 days of a discriminatory action, although there are some exceptions. 

No matter whether the person who is doing it understands or not.  

This is an issue about respect or a lack thereof.

Merry Fucking Christmas